Reviews | Sam and Whiskey's Drunk Listening Party, Vol. 1

ANC staff members Sam Sinister and Whiskey got together one day over drinks to listen to some Cleveland punk bands' digital releases on Bandcamp. These reviews are the result.



Party Plates - s/t 7" (2014)

Sam: Okay, so I guess these guys are kind of angry about something. Is this crust? The recording quality reminds me of old black metal, but I think it might be crust or d-beat. It's not unlistenable, at least not for me, but I don't think I'm in the mood for it at the moment. And trust me, this is music I would have to be in the mood for. Dichordant, quasi-metal guitar riffs and hoarse, unintelligable vocals. It's just monosyllabic sounds. 

Are these words? There's also a lot of snare drum. The best part is the part right after the intro to the third track, before the singer starts barking again like a yippy little dog whenever the mailmail shows up. 

This all sounds really negative, but honestly I like it. Or, at least, something about it. If it didn't seem like these guys thought they were an awesome band, I'd like it even more.


Whiskey: kidnapping quatro: robotic drums, sloppy guitar solos, & proto screaming vocals. needs to come with a lyrics sheet - totally unintelligible (is that kind of the point?), wow, you’re so pissed. 

disforeplay: again, i need the lyrics. do punk/hardcore bands ever have lyrics when the singer is actually screaming? doesn’t his voice hurt after a while? there has to be vocal classes for screamers, right? more sloppy guitars but that obviously doesn’t matter since the rhythm is fairly tight. ah & now we get to the sludgy outro & “discord” false ending.

intro/galloping ghost: chugchugchugchugchugchugchugchugchugchug. “WOOOOOOOORDSSSSS.” chugchugchugchugchugchugchug. “IM SO EROJHLEJSDSLLHFOSHDGLJSBIKWE.” higher tempo chugchugchugchugchugchugchug. it’s like if between the buried & me & a pile of sludge metal shit had a baby. 

the one thing i will give these guys credit for is that they obviously don’t take themselves too seriously. super serious hardcore punk bands lately have often have their heads up their asses in regards to their “talent & vision.” the discorded vocals, overdone snare, & choppy guitar riffs definitely lead one to invest in the name: party plates.


Perverts Again - All Over Again (4-track EP, 2014)

Sam: Decent snotty mid-tempo punk rock, SST-style. What's with the flanged, demonic vocals, though? At first I thought it was a gimmick for the opening track, but it's in every song! Overkill, guys! I like the lo-fi approach to the recording, though, and the simplistic guitar/bass/pounding drums formula never fails, at least not for me.

I will say one thing: If these guys never heard of Nirvana I'd be really fucking surprised. Whether or not that's a selling point is entirely up to you, but it reminds me of high school kids who formed bands back when I was, you know, in high school.

Replay value: Not much. Originality: Not much. Listenablity: Sure, why not. The good news is that these guys seem to have a good sense of humor: With song titles like "Bald Spot Boys" and "Outhouse Countdown", you'd have to. They also have "Charged" plastered across the top left corner of their logo, so bonus points for the referential irreverent stuff.


Whiskey: Outhouse Countdown: very simple, straightforward punk groove & lyrics, very silly & campy, the use of the actual countdown is clever. i admit i snickered at some of the lyrics. “brute in the bathroom” chorus is fun & could definitely be screamed while drunk at a show. so far, i’m liking this much more than Party Plates if only for the camp factor & lyrics that are actually understandable.

You’re Not Taking Me to Prom: this song is definitely making me wonder what these guys are like live. the stage show would ideally be pretty outlandish & possibly with a dash of crossdressing & stage humping. (fingers crossed!) drums are incredibly solid & head-nod worthy while the strings are tight. i’m just now noticing the underwater effect on the singr’s voice & it’s giving me a Jabberjaw meets the creature from the black lagoon vibe.

Bald Spot Boy: the same vocal effect is on the singer’s voice that’s definitely intentional & Jabberjaw-ish. so far i’m not blown away by this track because it’s very safe & typical of newer punk bands but it is a decent song with good arrangement. the drummer holds the line down & the guitarist hasn’t overstayed his welcome.

Hunt and Gather: my fear is confirmed: they’ve overdone the underwater effect on the singer’s voice. *yawn* the final track is a dud, limp & lifeless like a lost lamprey. i was pretty into this EP at the beginning but the schtick has worn thin by track 4. still, an okay song. 

i do dig the vibe these guys were going for: surf rock meets punk meets garage with overlays of vocal tweaking but it does get tiresome after a few tracks. maybe i will revisit this & come to a different conclusion but for now, it’s an okay effort.

Cruelster - Potatoe Boys LP (2014)

Sam: Old school! Instantly reminds me of Circle Jerks, Black Flag, and Government Issue.

Lots of downstrokes on the guitar, in a Greg Ginn/Johnny Ramone style, and all songs clock in at around a minute or less. Tons of yelling, in a way that doesn't sound contrived. Just pure energy and aggression. Minus any of the metal influences and tough guy posturing typical of most modern hardcore—this is just good ol' fashioned '80s style punk. Mostly mid-tempo fare (for hardcore, at least), with a few double-time circle pit numbers thrown in for good measure.

Not a bad effort; no sir, not by a long shot. A+


Whiskey: i’m not going to bother doing the song titles because they’re less than 90 seconds long. 

the recording is what strikes me off the bat; incredibly lo-fi, gritty, & sounds like shit but that’s kind of the charm here. although the vocals are very loud, the lyrics are still comprehensive. high energy & frantic. 

the tired trope of using movie quotes is overdone by track 3. but by track 4, i’m back on board for more fist swinging & energy expulsion through the intense guitar churning, tight drums, & call to arms oi inspired lyrics. 

these guys are definitely not everyone’s cup of tea but there’s definitely a passion for yesteryear’s punk rock formula: Keep It Simple, Stupid.


Ultra Ultra - Swag Ultra (2011)

Sam: No wave/heavy indie rock stuff. The opening track, "Culture Vultures" is decent: angry, snotty, occasionally off-time vocals and heavy, fuzzed-out guitars with a bit of dissonance here and there.

Track 2, "The T.I.V.", whatever that means, has a bit of hardcore/post-hardcore and emo influences (the latter is especially pronounced, unfortunately). Really not my thing.

The third and final offering, "Chimera (Reprise)", starts out sounding sort of like a bad attempt at garage punk, but quickly goes back to being an awful emo/shoegaze hybrid, this time complete with time signature changes and an answering machine message at the end that was aparrently supposed to be funny, but I couldn't tell what it was even saying, so the joke was lost on me.

I wouldn't recommend this release to my worst enemy.


Whiskey: this seems like the most post punk entry that we’ve sampled so far & it’s going down smoothly so far in track one.  there’s definitely a mewithoutyou/tiger’s jaw/glassjaw influence here or at least a band i would have seen on warped tour in the late 90s, early 00s.  

there are some chunks to gulp through (typical lyrics, predictable riffs, an overall yawn fest to be honest) but it’s incredibly easy to digest. the biggest saving grace is in the tightness of the bass & polished recording. 

this band definitely has similar influences of what i grew up enjoying but doesn’t have much edge to their music. i have to admit that i enjoy it if only for the nostalgia factor (much like a warm yoohoo) but it is unremarkable.

Columns | What Ruins Local Shows

by John Stahlman

As someone who has played, and went to local shows for like a decade, I have seen bands that were really killer, and blew my mind, and others that just made me wish I spent my $4 on a couple of 40's instead. I do not normally say a band outright sucks, but there are some bands that just annoy the piss out of me, and tend to just make for a boring show, and then people wonder why their music scene dies.

Tᴏᴘ 5 Bᴀɴᴅs Tʜᴀᴛ Wɪʟʟ Rᴜɪɴ Your Lᴏᴄᴀʟ Sʜᴏᴡ


5. Tʜᴇ Bᴀɴᴅ Tʜᴀᴛ Oɴʟʏ Pʟᴀʏs 3 Sᴏɴɢs



I get that some bands have to start somewhere, but unless your three songs take up the whole set list, add some covers, or write more material before playing. It just seems like a waste of time to see a music group play for 8 minutes and then leave.

This is especially bullshit when you go to a show that is supposed to be, like, 3 hours long, and it ends in a half hour because the show was booked with nothing but bands that do this. It also hurts the promoter who rented the venue, out of the amount of money they paid to keep the place open long enough for bands to have a half-hour set each.

This results in the promoter not wanting to waste their money, and just not even bothering in the first place. Nice job, guys.


4. Tʜᴇ Sᴇʟғ-Rɪɢʜᴛᴇᴏᴜs Pᴜɴᴋ Bᴀɴᴅ Tʜᴀᴛ Dᴏesɴ'ᴛ Sʜᴜᴛ the Fuck Uᴘ

I have nothing against political bands, or bands that stand for an agenda, but I really fucking hate it when the entire set is based on how your views are better than everyone else's and how we should be ashamed of ourselves because we:

1. drink
2. eat meat
3. vote
4. don't vote
5. live and breathe

Just fucking play. If I wanted to go to a concert with nothing but holier-than-thou, fascist bullshit ranters telling me how to live my life, I'd go see Ted Nugent.

(At least with Nugent, there's supposed to be the bullshit rockstar mentality of him being at a higher standing than the audience. In a local show the audience and the performers are equals, so treat us all like your equals and do what you're there to do: play.)

If you want to play a song and then just rant, go to a damn protest, and play there.

Or create a blog or a zine.


3. Tʜᴇ Pᴏᴘ Pᴜɴᴋ Cᴏᴠᴇʀ Bᴀɴᴅ

This is something that I run into all the time. Like, I've been to shows where 5 bands played the same Blink 182 and Fallout Boys songs, over and over. Like, how about actually writing original material, so everything doesn't just sound like an iPod playlist on fucking repeat?



2. Tʜᴇ Oᴠᴇʀᴛʟʏ Hᴀʀᴅ-Ass Mᴇᴛᴀʟ ᴀɴᴅ Bᴇᴀᴛᴅᴏᴡɴ Hᴀʀᴅᴄᴏʀᴇ Bᴀɴᴅ

Metal is known for its "hyper-masculinity," but in most cases it's tolerable, and is just based on looks, and not their actual personalities.

However, every so often, some douchebags with ʀᴏɪᴅ-ʀᴀɢᴇ decide to start a band, and then just try to be heavy and "hardcore", so they can seem cool. These bands usually have the singer beating on his chest like a gorilla, threaten people for not voting for them at the battle of the bands, and flex their muscles a lot.

The worst thing about these bands is that they attract even more douchey friends, who gang up and beat on people who call them out for being a douche.

Not to mention, most people in these bands are in love with Disturbed and Five Finger Death Punch, and will stop at nothing to replicate the shitty sound of those bands.


1. Tʜᴇ Mᴇᴛᴀʟᴄᴏʀᴇ/Dᴇᴀᴛʜᴄᴏʀᴇ Bᴀɴᴅ

First of all, I wanna say this does not include bands who have the sound of the first wave metalcore bands (like Earth Crisis, Shah Hulud, Bio Hazard, and Chokehold). The number-one type of band that can ruin a local show are bands that wanna be Whitechapel, Bring me the Horizon, or A Day to Remember. Say what you want about these bands, they have their fan base (which may have fucked tastes in music, but whatever) and it's not the fact that they play metalcore—It's the fact that they all sound the fucking same.

These local metalcore bands (or deathcore bands—both are fucking guilty of this) try so hard to be like their idols, they bring nothing new to the table. I guarantee if you walk out in the middle of a local metal band's set and come back with your eyes closed during the next band's set, you'd swear it was the same fucking band.

Every time I go to a show anymore it seems all it is is "chug-chug breakdown, off-pitched, flat, clean, pop punk vocals," and shallow growls and screams during yet-another-fucking breakdown. The local metalcore bands are so formulaic that it just makes everything so boring, so no one fucking cares that a band is playing, and most of the crowd just flocks to the bar. (Unless it's a dry show, then the crowd just stands there and stares, or makes fun of the kids with their Hot Topic/Warped Tour shirts, trying to mosh to the br00t4l bands.)

I, on the other hand, go throw up in a fucking trash can.

Now, in all honesty, I would not have a problem with these bands if they just did something that was their own, instead of being carbon copies. It's like being a cover band without being a cover band.

John Stahlman is the current bassist of the punk trio Omission and has also been in numerous other bands in the northwestern Pa scene, including Paint Thinner, TxSxOxDx, Made Not Born, Wydell, and Choke The Bastard (now Vermin Warfare). He has a Bachelor of Arts from the University of Pittsburgh at Bradford and majored in Broadcast Communications with a minor in Public Relations, if that has any merit to it anymore. While at college he hosted a few radio shows at the campus' student radio station WDRQ1620 AM, most notably the Underground Vault, which played local music, and also covered the Biological and Health Sciences department while writing for the student newspaper The Source. Stahlman is currently unemployed, in debt, and has gotten to embrace even more of his nihilistic punk rock view of life.

News | Punk Rock Doc Union Calls for Boycott of New Cleveland Hardcore Documentary

by D.X. Ferris

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The new hardcore documentary, Destroy Cleveland, has sparked an outcry from the Punk Rock Documentary & Historical Testimony Union.

“All card-carrying punks should boycott this movie,” says Ian MacKaye, president of the union’s influential Washington, D.C. chapter, Local No. 138. “It is not up to the standards we have come to expect from a documentary about this important form of American music. Specifically, it fails to include testimony from several key figures in the history of punk rock.”

Local 138 members include Dischord Records founder MacKaye (ex-Minor Threat, Fugazi) and fellow punk icon Henry Rollins (ex-Black Flag, S.O.A.).

At least one of the duo have appeared in every punk history, including the book and movie versions of American Hardcore, Punk: Attitude, The Art of Punk — Black Flag, We Jam Econo: The Story of the Minutemen, the D.C./Virginia episode of Dave Grohl’s Sonic Highways series, and About.com’s The History of Punk Rock.

But neither MacKaye nor longtime associate Rollins appear in the independently produced documentary.

“I don’t know Cleveland hardcore, and I don’t have anything to say about it,” explained MacKaye in the chapter's plush office, a fat cigar dangling from his mouth. “But if you think you’re gonna make a punk rock documentary without Big Ian Mick-ay, you are sorely mistaken. I don’t care how many of your little buddies from the One Shocks Terror Crew or whatever want to relive their glory days; I have 15 of Dischord’s finest corporate lawyers on my side, plus another little secret weapon you may have heard of.”

“That’s right,” added Rollins, emerging from a shadow in the corner. “I hear it’s a nice documentary the Ohio boys put together. It would be a shame if something were to… happen to it.”

Destroy Cleveland director Matthew Greenfield, an Ohio native who currently lives in Texas, says MacKaye and Rollins simply do not belong in the movie.

“Ian and Henry are accomplished figures in the punk movement, no question,” explained Greenfield via Skype. “But they weren’t on the scene. Though many Cleveland hardcore personalities went on to play in major acts like [platinum alt-rock band] Filter, Sepultura, and CIV, half the point of this film is to document groups whose primary audience and impact were in Cleveland.”

According to MacKaye, the film’s initials, “D.C.,” constitute an actionable copyright infringement against both the phrase “[Washington] D.C.,” which he copyrighted in 1982, and the typographically specific term “harDCore.”

Greenfield said he sent Dischord’s publicity firm a list of questions about Cleveland bands from the 1980s through the modern era, including Integrity, Confront, Outface and Face Value. According to the director, 13 months later, he received an invoice from the union, a postcard from MacKaye that read simply “Never heard of ’em — IxMx” and a list of demands that included 15 minutes of screen time for members of his local.

“Ian wanted me to pay for my own transportation to Washington,” claims Greenfield. “Then I would have had to pay $10,000 cash for him to tell me the story about the first time he saw [the] Bad Brains play in the D.C. ghetto. It has nothing to do with Cleveland. And I’ve heard it before.”

“I’ll tell him what fits in his movie,” retorted MacKaye. “This is about two things: the historical truth, and me getting paid. One, if I don’t have anything to say about it, it never happened. And two, people don’t buy CDs any more, so appearing in documentaries is the primary means of income for our hard-working, law-abiding members. And lemme tell ya: bitches and hamburgers are not cheap.”

“You heard Mister MacKaye,” said Rollins, flexing a massive right bicep. “We have a little saying around these parts: 'The "Ee" don’t talk for free.' ”

“The cigar and the part about the burgers are off the record,” added MacKaye. “I’m a vegan icon.”

Destroy Cleveland premiers Friday, July 24 at Cleveland’s Ohio City Masonic Center. A post-show concert will follow, at the nearby Foundry nightclub, featuring a reunion set by the Gordon Solie Motherfuckers.

“Never heard of them, either,” said MacKaye.

— 30 —

[Note to Reader: If you're taking any of this seriously, you're an idiot. -Ed.]

D.X. Ferris wrote two books about Slayer. People seem to like them. Learn more at SlayerBio.com. Ferris doodles a webcomic called Suburban Metal Dad. Nobody seems to like it. Learn more at SuburbanMetalDad.com. He used to write the Around Hear column for Cleveland Scene, back when it was still half-decent. He started doing DDP Yoga after throwing his back out while humping your mom.